Not to be a crybaby but...

What in the heck did I do in a past life... (assuming that we have past lives) Okay last week I was sort of diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I say sort of because he didn't really say that I have it but I have all  sorts of the symptoms, so if anyone is keeping score... I have Neurofibromatosis, I'm hypoglycemic, I have one (and a half) legs, I'm always in pain because of the previous disorders, I'm manic depressive and who knows what else... Okay just to put it out there I know there are tons of people with lots more problems then I have, and I always tell my self and others that "it could be worse" and I know it could be. I just wanted to rant a little and this is my blog so :p lol not to mention my hubby and I have been trying for a baby since 2007 and no luck.

A few things I don't talk about

• I don't talk about how upset it makes me that I'm not pregnant, But I feel the pain of it everyday.
• I don't talk about how (some) people in my life don't seem too concerned about it. 
• I don't want people to tell me things that I already know, it doesn't reassure me, it doesn't make me feel any better.
• I don't talk about how hard it is for me to see pregnant women and families walk by my house, or see them in the store. 
• I hate to hearing about people getting pregnant and not wanting to keep it. 
• I'm scared that I can't get pregnant, and I feel like I know it won't happen for me because I didn't end up a teen mom.

Bad at blogging

I'm really bad at this blogging thing, I read blogs all the time, daily and follow more then a few of them. I say to my self all the time that I should write/blog more since I love writing, but it just never gets done... along with many other things that don't do... like laundry and vacuuming and... the list goes on. SO..... here's to blogging (cheers) and here's to procrastinating. (lol) 

Just a manic.... Thursday

Yesterday was a great day, I was happy and full of life! It was such a great day! I felt like I was glowing. My brother told me that he could tell that I was happy, and I was... today I want to cry, I didn't want to get out of bed I just want to be held and cry. I was able to sleep last night, just happy as could be. Manic depression is terrible, even with meds. The worst part is not knowing why, why am I sad? Why?!! I NEED to know?

mark. cosmetic sells rep.

I started selling mark. cosmetics recently, and so far I am loving it. I am not one that wears much make up never have been, but I've been wearing this and it is great, it's light and clean. I absolutely love the mark Super Cosmetic Bag I received, its so cute and holds quite a bit of makeup, which is great because you can keep all of your products in one place, its also super easy to clean.

Personal update

This is just an update about us TTC, it hasn't happened for us yet, We've been trying since we got married in October of 07'. My menstrual cycles haven't been normal I had one by my self recently which was good, but it wasn't exactly normal. I took a pregnancy test a couple of days ago it was negative. I'm so drained, emotionally. I have recently been thinking more so that I'm happy right now with the way things are, my husband and I are able to just get up and go, go shopping at 1 am if need be. Although I (we) want a child (children) we like it just us, and our fur-babies LOL. We are happy. We have a great home, a wonderful relationship. So for now this is great! We will have a baby when we're meant to, I just have to keep reminding my self that.

I feel so bad though, friends of mine have gotten pregnant and haven't wanted to tell me because they were afraid that it would hurt me, up set me. In a way it did, but I am so happy for them. They are all great people and they deserve the miracles they've received.

Free stuff

From time to time I look for free samples, I like to get free stuff, I mean who doesn't right? Well I found one, that you can receive free OPK and Pregnancy tests, at I think this rocks, I just "ordered" them tonight so I don't know if I will receive them, but I will keep you up to date. I found this offer a good one since we're still trying for wee one.